‘Love Island’ Power Ranking: Week Three

Like a fart in a big hole, it doesn’t take much to change the atmosphere love island. There are too few people in too close quarters for the little things to have a huge multiplier effect, creating a social environment that’s essentially a sixth shape eternal common room with more crowded bikinis and possibly an equivalent number of boners.

The third week and everyone is already living, laughing, moving in a different villa than the one we noticed a few days ago, with a series of redemptions, doubts, and a thrilling re-shuffle intrigue. And in Jack’s deep words: “Women eh? Women…men too.”

With Casa Amor on the horizon as the legendary monster in The Automatic Monster, the atmosphere is about to transform once again. Meanwhile, here’s a breakdown of where the strength lies.


A week ago, we still wanted this union to come into being, but in just five days, Dami and India have gone from first-time buddies to the show’s lovable couple. Through their collective banter, wisdom, and facial piercing, they have one of those dynamics that a) remind you that the world can be good and full of light, and (b) crack open a massive gap of loneliness in your chest that keeps you awake. night.

They also had one of the hottest and most convincing hacks I’ve ever seen on ITV2, which was especially impressive because it happened during a challenge in which a group of heterosexuals try to pop balloons by simulating ass sex. Win/win for tenderness and balloon fetish.

mind reading

Islanders gather to do some mind reading

Mystic Dami entered the scene this week with such a celebratory talent that he threw the entire villa out of the house. Essentially what happened was that he introduced a series of Ekin-Su and Gemma’s inner monologues that were too close to the bone, resulting in a chain reaction of gossip that sent at least one head (namely Luca’s). He then spent the rest of the day in the role of mediator solving the relationship problems between everyone, at which point the mystic Dami was replaced by Dami (PhD in therapeutic counseling).

I should make it clear here that by “mind reading” I mean “having the ability to interpret body language and emotional signals,” and by “problems” I mean “things that can be quickly resolved by talking about them with the other person” – but historically these are rare concepts on the love island. Villa’s psychological makeup usually leans more towards people who “outside” deal with difficult or uncomfortable things by smashing 11 pints and letting someone read about it (that’s no small feat) love island runners, it’s simply the default British way).

As a result, many find themselves sitting right with their emotions right for the first time on national television, which makes people like Jack face the barrel of vulnerability and pretty much go, Mark Corrigan, telling the subject of their emotions: “I love you, and if you can’t handle it You can run away.”

Anyway, I’m sure there’s a burgeoning side hustle for Dame running an intensive course for guys who don’t know how to communicate, if he wants to.


Paige just hangs out and smiles

If you look up the word “sweetheart” in the dictionary, you’ll see a picture of Paige Thorne. A utterly classic girl of the wonderful variety, she’s exactly the kind of sensitive, forgiving soul you’d hope to encounter in the restrooms on a night out when you’re having a mental breakdown about your clothes. In other words: a national treasure.

It also seems that she does not like to burden others with her feelings and is afraid of hurting people, beautiful qualities that made her very weak in the villa at times. Jack was actually very nice to her when she was crying last night, but he also lost his head when she spent more than a few minutes eating brioche instead of going for a swim so the fuck would know what could happen. Rest assured if he upsets it, all SA1 residents will be on easyJet’s first flight to Mallorca to slap his jacket on, and he won’t get a pint on Wind Street as long as he lives.

People whisper their deepest fears in the middle of the night

People whisper their deepest fears at night

Just one night we had Tasha confess to Andrew that she intentionally blows things up when they feel too good to be true, and Jack tries to talk about his feelings while also admitting that he doesn’t like talking about his feelings. I’m not sure if you’ll be impressed or panicked that we haven’t even been out for a month and people are already having such severe internal crunch that they have to slip out of bed to do some therapy on the stairs, but so far it all seems very healthy. Not packing things in hot and hot direction for love island 2022 – Exactly there with elbow-length gloves and luca fish soles.

David and Aiken-soo will not do that

David and Eiken Soo around the fire pit

For a while, David was busy making it love island History again by ending the dynasty of the “ultimate bachelor guy everyone feels sorry for in a little brother way” and pioneering the “ultimate bachelor man who is a huge legend, like the kind of friend of a friend you always ask if he’s coming to the job even if you don’t really know him because if it’s david Being there, it would be a good laugh.”

Anyway, he and Ikin-soo have been staying away from each other since their breakup last week and there is a lot of talk of “unfinished business”. I look forward to them inevitably doing some really brutal “bits” before getting into an explosive argument until Iken-soo starts throwing hand weights and bottles of Soltan sunscreen. Ross and Rachel but they are making a Turkish series.

from Antigonus

Antigone with her huge beach hair

With her formidable hair, good energy, and prime-time voice on Radio 1, Antigone brought what can only be described as a bit of “va va voom” to the villa. The kind of girl every friendship group needs to get you out of your vacation lethargy and back to the nearest bar, where you’ll spend the time of your life eating tapas, “sex bomb” karaoke with the owner and partying with the waiters until 4am.

Jack always swings in the jacket and pants

Jack in a jacket and pants

As someone with a landmine stagnant of insecurity but also an illusory sense of confidence, I feel completely drawn to Jack. A man can’t handle a little bit of uncertainty when it comes to his feelings for someone, however, day in and day out can be seen bowling around the villa in an array of odd and often mismatched jackets or shirts and pants when everyone is already polished and waxed in their trunks. A man born for public life, I’m afraid.

Business Island

David and Danica talk about work

No offense to newcomers Danica and Charlie, but seeing the bustle mentality being transparently brought into the love arena is pretty upsetting. Every one of them, of course, but personally if I was trying to get to know someone, I wouldn’t strategically question them like I would on their doorstep trying to sign them up for a recurring donation to the RSPB.


A camera that enlarges a beloved childhood toy while someone whispers

Following the British tabloid tradition of constantly alluding to sex but not saying things like “edge job” or “fingering”, love island Imposes a new cursed hint every year, like Continue in For people who have a favorite hotel in Dubai. This year everyone attends the “salon” for a “manicure” or “treatment”. On the one hand, it’s sickening and horrific. On the other hand, this is still better than zooming the camera on a beloved childhood toy while someone whispers “Do you like it this way?”

Party Theme “Blue and the New”

Charlie wears blue to a party

I don’t know whose decision it was to plan a big night of two cocktails around half a wedding tradition, but the “Blue and the New” party was responsible for some of the worst costumes ever seen love island. By the end of that time, I was longing for the 2021 Hugo days and its drapes into the ’70s.

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