If you see red when facing rudeness, this could be the reason

If someone is rude to you, or you think they are, what is your first response? Do you become instinctively aggressive? Are you looking for a fight?

While some responses can be the result of a bad day, a temporary misjudgment, or an appropriate reaction to someone else’s aggression, in some cases, lasting anger can stem from elsewhere.

For people who are always ready, or already looking for a confrontation, this can often be associated with childhood.

The way we grew up in our formative years has a huge impact on how we behave as adults.

Children who are left alone to deal with problem solving can struggle to regulate their emotions, both in childhood and adulthood. The links between anger and childhood abandonment are well documented.

Being isolated for long periods of time as a child—whether it’s because their parents have to work or take on care responsibilities or other obligations—can leave youngsters having to solve problems on their own, leaving them feeling even more stressed, anxious and angry.

Research shows that social isolation damages not only the physiological functions of the body, but also the development of the supporting cells of the nervous system, which in turn affects the development of cognitive functions.

So, while some of these children may become more adept at dealing with stress and managing their emotions on their own, it may be a more difficult path for others.

Anger may arise in them a little easier than in their peers because they did not have an outlet to express their feelings in childhood.

Dom* was the only child who could relate. “My parents worked a lot, so I was often left alone, even at the age of eight. So I had to take care of myself,” says the 34-year-old Londoner, who works for a publishing company.

“I was also bullied in school and changed schools a few times, around my teens, I had mental health issues and had to deal with it myself. As an adult, I feel like I always have a chip on my shoulder,” because I want to fend for myself and have my back, I am willing to do everything in my power to protect myself.”

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